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Journal of a Middle Aged Rider!

 It's been a while since I checked in - November 19, 2008

I am up to 30 minutes per day of unsupported two point going cross country on my farm.  Poor Bear, he hates it and to make things interesting he does the disappearing head trick.  The great news is I can stay in two point and get his head up.  My position has changed a lot.  I feel stable, but I've also realized how uneven I am, both in the weight I have in each stirrup and the way I use each leg.  This exercise is extremely valuable in propagating equal use of my body.

I'm still at 10 minutes of posting without stirrups, but the quality of my position is drastically improving, making it a much more demanding 10 minutes.  I plan to expand to 15 when my left leg is doing half the work.  As it stands my right leg is stronger than my left.

I've been the luckiest person in the world.  I've gotten two lessons with Jimmy since the clinic and I'm becoming much more aware of the finesse my Bird requires of me.  I feel great about the improvement I'm making and I'm motivated to keep on.  It makes all the torture worth it.  In fact, I can't wait to ride every day.  I am so excited about what I'll learn today.  It's like being handed a gift you get to open every day.

I've been going to Sharon White's for the lessons and it is striking how light and supple she is while riding.  Horses are so comfortable with her.  I feel like I ride like I'm driving a Mack truck.  This is good to know because now I'm very aware of every move I make and how I make it.  This will be good for Birdie, actually it will be good for all my horses.

 

 Cross Country Clinic with Jimmy - October 21, 2008

This was a big day for me and I had (1) a plan and (2) a lot of butterflies.  Go back and read about my first cross country clinic with Jimmy  to understand why I brought so many butterflies.  I wanted to get to An Otherwise Perfect Farm with enough time to tack up, stroll around in a power walk and then do the "show the Bird to the ground thing".  Cherie was on board with the plan and I was happy to have her there for support.  She elected not to bring Katchi because of the upcoming ride at Waredaca.  She insisted I bring my video camera so she could document my ride.  I told her I didn't want to see myself ride right now because I knew I looked like a pile of crap on a horse.  I just wasn't feeling tough enough to deal with it.  So, I brought the video camera and Cherie documented my ride.

If you've never read the book Riding Logic, by W. Museler.  Read it.  Every day, my Bird is improving from the knowledge in this book.  It was astounding the way this horse who has so much anxiety was stretching and reaching to the ground as I warmed him up.  Cherie videoed this and it was the first time I was able to see it.  It's like - a miracle.  Birdie is not only feeling better physically, but he's happier.  He did this with other horses warming up all around him.  He relaxed.  I am truly amazed.  I was glad she made me bring that camera.

Jimmy always starts out by getting our names and he actually knows mine now and that's neat.  He also said we'd start in the arena so we could get our butterflies flying in formation.  Works for me.  We then went out to the cross country course and started with some stadium jumps on a hill.  We then transitioned to the actual cross country jumps.  Jimmy corrected me a lot.  Particularly about posting at the canter, which I didn't quite understand, but I do now.  Also, soft hands, which are mandatory with Birdie.  He is super sensitive to everything.  I was holding my own and more stable than I had been in the past.  Primarily due to my developing "Jimmy legs". 

Then he told us to jump this bench and then gallop a ways to what looked to me like a black ski ramp.  GULP, this took me right back to Win Green and Birdie hanging over that ski ramp.  Okay, self, this is how it's going to be.  You can do this, you know this horse can do this.  This is your moment of truth.  Look at these other people, they can do it.  Thank God I wasn't first.  The first jump, piece of cake, although it was windy so I couldn't hear what Jimmy was yelling even though he had a megaphone.  I know he wasn't yelling "Good job".  We were now approaching the black ski ramp, how appropriate the color.  Wait, leg, look at the jump, wait, soft hands, grab mane, WE DID IT!!  It felt like crap, but we did it.  Now Birdie was rolling right along and that's the fun part.  He was happy, apparently I did a fairly decent job.  Cherie later told me it looked good.

I've got to thank Jimmy Wofford for teaching me.  I'm beginning to think this really is possible.  At the end of the clinic he told me he wanted me to watch that video and I wouldn't be happy.  I knew that going in, but yet another sacrifice to learn.  If you want to learn how to ride, you need to leave your ego in the house or the car.  It's just an obstacle when you bring it to your horse.

I watched the video.  Cherie told me just watch one thing, your hands, or leg position.  Well, my eye went right to my big bouncing butt.  In racing we have a different name for posting at the canter.  Monkey f**king a foot ball.  There are a couple of amazing things about this.  One is it was incredible how still I could keep my hands while my butt was going up and down that much, they really only moved when I was uptight.  Two, I galloped at the track for 20+ years and never looked like that.  The good news is this is going to be rather easy to fix.  I think I've been way overthinking this two point thing.  I'm trying to do everything but gallop the way I know how.  I think I need to just gallop the horse.  There is little difference between the way eventers and racetrackers gallop and I've been thinking they're totally different positions.  I'm sure I'll still have to work on it, but the monkey thing, it's got to go today.

 

 Fair Hill Course walk with Jimmy - October 17, 2008

Cherie, genius, had asked Jimmy at the last gymnastics clinic if he would be walking the course at Fair Hill.  He said he was, and she asked if we could join in.  He said yes, but he didn't know what time it would be.  We had a plan.  We would spend the entire day there and keep an eye on Jimmy.  Sort of stalk him so we could do that course walk.  It ended up being much easier because he posted the time on his site and Cherie was probably the first person to see it.

We spent the day at Fair Hill.  Watching the dressage, shopping, having lunch, shopping, checking out the exhibits, shopping.  You get the idea.  Around 3:15 Jimmy got up and we knew we had to go.  He drove to the start box.  We had to walk.  I mean speed walk, at least we thought we were speed walking -  there was no way we were going to miss a moment.

He was walking the three star course with two riders, Josh Barnacle and Debbie Rosen.  Cherie and I filed in behind.  If you've never been to Fair Hill, the course is rather "hilly".  It's not flat and we found out that Jimmy walks faster than any human alive.  At least we think so.  I ride 5 or 6 horses a day and I was winded and sweating in no time flat.  Determination was our best friend and Cherie and I toughed it out.  We were really happy each time we got to a jump, to hear what Jimmy had to say and to catch our breath before the next walk phase.  We were feeling like wimps until Josh said he should have trained to do the course walk with Jimmy.  Josh went on to put in a solid performance in the cross country phase.  Debbie, put in a fantastic ride but fell with three fences to go.  We were rooting for them both.

We walked for 2 and 1/2 hours.  It was fantastic and I learned a lot.  At the end of the walk Jimmy asked how we were doing and I told him I had been reading the book he suggested.  Also I had been doing the exercises.  He asked if they were working and I said yes, but likely not enough, knowing I had a clinic with him on Tuesday.

The book is Riding Logic and it's written in an old style that is very hard to follow.  That said, it's doing more for Birdie than I ever thought possible.  I was a quarter the way through the book and the author kept referencing the "badly made horse".  I kept thinking "why am I reading a book about horses with bad conformation?"  Well, keep reading, its about badly trained horses.  The key part of the book is the part about showing the horse to the ground.  My bird needs this more than anything and I've been working on it.  

 

 Is there gain in this pain? - October 7, 2008

I've been following my new program of working on my dressage leg and jumping leg everyday.  It is making me sore.  At the end of each exercise I am literally asking myself "How bad do you want it?"  I must want it bad.

So anyway, I haven't gotten to posting without stirrups past ten minutes, but I have been improving the method.  Simply put, my leg without stirrups is improving.  I'm also doing two point trotting up and down hills with zero support from mane, reins or leaning on neck.  I'm trying to balance myself as long as possible, and it's happening even on the up and down.

Birdie and I are working on that long, longer, longest dressage leg and opening my hips.  Oww, oww, oww, but it's happening.  Tightness in my left hip is what's lifting my right seatbone off the saddle.  It's all good.

So a test today.  The Bird and I did our usual high powered stroll around the farm, followed by trotting where he chooses his head position and my hands follow.  I then did jumping with my new improved, painfully acquired jumping position.  That new leg works great.  I have improved balance and the leg and hands are not depending on each other so much.  We did the figure eight canter lead changes over the fences.  Just a few weeks ago I could not transfer my weight to get the lead change in the air.  This day it was systematic.  No coming back too early to the saddle after the jump.  Birdie started out his wound up self, but quickly relaxed and slowed down as he realized it was going to be a very different day to jump.

Yes, the gain is worth the pain.  Incentive to go on.

I've decided that in addition to the leg/position work, I need to be a more giving rider.  My horses are givers, probably most horses are.  It's a frame of mind as much as an action.  I want to give to my horses at every opportunity.  I want them to expect to get what they need from me.  Of course, giving the reins whenever possible, but I've decided it's more than that.  Giving seat, lighter more flexible.  Giving shoulders, elastic and kind.  Riding with strength that allows me to give to them and accept what they offer, which is a lot.  I ask them for something, but then I have to give them what they need to accomplish it.

 

 My legs are a pretzel - October 3, 2008

 

 The third Jim Wofford Clinic - September 30, 2008

 

 ◊  The second Jim Wofford Clinic - September 16, 2008

 

 Christmas in July - July 21, 2008

 

My First Lesson with Steuart Pittman - July 16, 2008

Just another day with Her Highness - July 6, 2008

◊ The day of my first jumper show -- ever - June 21, 2008

 

My first warm up arena -- ever - June 20, 2008

◊ First Ride with Jimmy Wofford -- A cross country clinic - June 18, 2008

Over the past year I’ve attended two or three clinics and lessons with Jimmy Wofford. Not as a rider, but helping my friend Cherie. I learned a lot and was impressed that I completely understood what he was talking about. Bear in mind I’m an exercise rider with a background in dressage. I never really learned to jump. I have jumped before, but never learned how. Truth be told, I never really had a desire to. I loved dressage, but couldn’t make a living at it. They’d pay me to ride at the track, so I went there. Racing has been very good to me and I don’t regret taking that path.

Birdie gave me an opportunity to ride in a clinic with Jimmy Wofford. Something I really wanted to do. My friend Cherie said I was ready and it would be great for my riding to have Jimmy take a look at me early in my learning. I’d gone cross country jumping twice with Cherie and it was fun, because Birdie was so fantastic. I told Cherie, I didn’t want to be the class clown. She assured me we belonged there. I’d observed the last cross country clinic with Jimmy and they didn’t jump anything I wouldn’t have been completely comfortable with. Besides, Birdie had come so far. He was much more relaxed and happy with me now. His only issue was ditches. What could go wrong?

Well, I know Jimmy Wofford sees hundreds of riders, maybe thousands. One thing I’m sure of - if I ever ride in another clinic of his, he’ll remember me – and Birdie.

When we arrived, all was great. Both Birdie and Katchi, Cherie’s horse, stood quietly on the trailer while we set up our stuff for the day. We were early and had time to watch the clinic before us for a time. So we unloaded the boys and headed down the hill to watch, and let them graze. Birdie was relaxed and I was feeling pretty good about the whole thing. We were watching the Prelim people and Cherie said, “We won’t have to jump that stuff, our jumps will be much easier.” I remembered the last cross country clinic and felt certain she was right.

There was some question as to exactly what time we were to start, and down the hill came a gal that was riding in our clinic with her horse tacked, but in a halter. We decided we should do the same. Everything was going great. Finally the time came to get on our horses and warm up. Jimmy would be coming down that hill soon to begin. I got on Birdie and it was as if an electric shock went through him. Suddenly, it was the horse that arrived at my farm. Filled with anxiety and leaning on the bit for assurance. Then he backed over a bush, a real bush too, about 3 feet high. Well, all eyes were on me and Birdie, but not to worry. I was confident if I just sat quietly, he would relax. I know from riding so many racehorses, you can’t make a big deal of anxiety. You have to just sit.

Jimmy likes to line you all up at the beginning of the clinic and learn your name and about your horse. I told him my name and that Birdie had competed to Training Level. He asked me how far I’d competed. I told him I’d learned to jump about two months ago. He said he’d have to keep an eye on me. Birdie was standing and I don’t think he was aware of the entire problem standing before him. My friend Cherie did try to help by telling Jimmy I can really ride. Thank you Cherie, I appreciate your vote of confidence.

It was time to warm up in the sand arena. We were to line up single file, leaving enough room between us and jump a simple fence. Easy enough, I was sure Birdie would soon calm down, because jumping always seemed to pacify him. Well, we went around the edge of the arena and he just didn’t want to turn, through another bush and then finally headed to the jump. “Wait, stay out of his way, don’t sit down too early”, I reminded myself as we headed to the jump. He jumped it like he always does – great. Thank you Birdie. It was that way every time, he didn’t want to turn but once headed to the jump, we were fine. I felt pressure, my horse was so up tight and leaning on me and everyone else could just, well, do the jump. Right about then Mr. Wofford said exactly what I needed to hear. Take your time, don’t worry about everyone else.

At this point, I was sure everyone there thought I was an idiot. I have a rather thick skin though and wasn’t about to give up. I came there to learn and my horse needed to get through this. I continued to sit and relax my body as much as I could. Jimmy likes you to ride on a long rein and let the horse do the work. I knew this, but I also knew there was no long rein for Birdie unless he started to relax. Jimmy covered this point before we set out to the first cross country fence. He looked at me and said he realized if I gave Birdie too much rein, he’d be gone and if I took too much hold, he’d be gone. He wanted me to try my best to get him on a longer rein throughout the day. I was glad he said that to me, because I really couldn’t let go of the hold. I’d tried it in the past when Birdie was in this mood and he not only took off, but his head went straight into the air. So much that I had to move my face to one side to keep from being hit.

Now I want to take a moment to say, I love this horse. I adore him and I knew he was just having a bad day. I wasn’t mad at him. I felt bad I couldn’t give him what he needed. If I were a better rider, I’d be able to help him. He was upset and looking to me to make it better and I was failing him.

The first cross country fence was simple, I’m not good at names so I’ll just say it looked like some logs with a little brush at the bottom. Same thing, Birdie was hard to get to the jump, but once he got there, he jumped flawlessly. My jumping style was not as good as most days, but I did a fair job. Jimmy didn’t really rag on me about getting left a little here and there. He kept reminding me to figure 8 between fences to keep Birdie busy. I tried to, the best I could, but I knew if Birdie didn’t relax soon, I was going to get tired. We only ride racehorses when they’re like this for fifteen minutes or so. Birdie had now been in this mood for over a half hour. I was still sure if I just sat there, he’d come around.

Jimmy Wofford is really great at telling you what you need to hear. That’s not the same as telling you what you want to hear. About halfway through this clinic he said to me he really liked Birdie, and that was important to me. He said Birdie just needed time and patience and would probably be a wonderful horse in four years. Well four years wasn’t exactly great news, but one thing I have is time. Remember, this is all happening because of the Gray Monster.

One thing I knew was that Birdie was teaching me. He made RIDE, he didn’t hand me anything. What kept me going on this day was the fact that I knew if I got through it, I’d be a better rider than I had been the day before. Birdie would be a better horse. I kept pushing back the little voice in the back of my head that tried to tell me I wasn’t going to make it through this day.

I was getting tired and Birdie wasn’t relaxing. It was now over halfway through this clinic and I had remodeled my goal. Now I thought, if I just got through the day, just sitting quietly on Birdie and not making a big deal of his anxiety, the next time we went out, he’d be better. In other words, I lost all hope he was going to relax on this day.

One other thing was happening. While I was sure that everyone else riding in the clinic, save Cherie thought I was an idiot at first. At this point I felt I had earned their respect. Now mind you, no one ever said or did anything the least bit unkind. This was in my head, and I guess I was feeling rather proud I’d made it this far.

Jimmy occasionally would have me do an easier jump than the others, which truthfully, I was grateful for. He then instructed us to jump this sort of fake trakehner, then gallop down a hill and up another hill to a ramp (I think that’s what it’s called). That trakehner thing looked ominous to me. It had an awfully big telephone pole on it. I took a deep breath and headed out, it was my turn. Well, Birdie did what he does, he jumped it. Hooray, I made it!! I got a little left and as I always do when that happens, I apologized to him. As Birdie always does, he accepted. Now, for the fun part, I’m great at relaxing horses in the gallop. That was one of my strong suits as an exercise rider. I let him out as he settled in to his rhythm. The ramp thing didn’t worry me at all. It seemed straight forward to me. Well you know where this is going don’t you?

I’m going to say maybe 8 strides out Birdie said to me “I’m ducking to the left”. I said “No, don’t do that”. He said, “Okay, I’m ducking to the right”. I said, don’t do that either.” Then he said something I wasn’t prepared for. He said, “Okay, I’ll go.” Now that shouldn’t be a problem, but you have to keep in mind that although Birdie does quit once in a while, it really isn’t very often. Consequently, I have not developed the skills to get a horse to jump that’s quitting. Even worse, I had never had a horse that was quitting, change his mind and decide to go. It should have been great news and it was, for a moment. When Birdie said, “Okay, I’ll go.” I reacted. I leaned forward. Now all my weight was on his forehand as he was lifting off. I’m not sure, but I think since he was planning on quitting on approach, he wasn’t paying attention to the height of the jump. At any rate, he hit it – hard – and over his head I went. He was hanging over the jump. Front feet on one side, back feet on the other. Struggling, looking over the jump. I looked up at him and pushed myself back, as soon as he saw me, he scrambled over the jump. He was looking for ME. He was in trouble and instead of saving himself, he looked for me.

What a wonderful horse. What a kind and gentle soul. Who was now running around Win Green Farm at racing speed. New reins swinging in the air, back and forth. Wow, he is fast. Everyone else was down the hill, huddled together. I was later told, Birdie seriously thought about running right through all of the innocent bystanders on horseback. Cherie said, “holy cats, I'll never forget the look in his eyes as he came around the corner (reins flapping below his neck) and zeroed in on his pack of horsey friends - myself and the other girl at the edge of the circle didn't know where to go! I just kept thinking that surely he'd have enough sense not to actually run us over!” I was up on the top of that big hill. On display for all to see, as my horse made the rounds. Birdie even took time to go in and out of a turn out shed before deciding to come back my way. As he ran by, I reached out and grabbed the reins. Lucky catch really, and he was ready to be caught anyway.

Cherie said Jimmy never said a word. It was a long walk down that hill. I was glad Birdie and I weren’t hurt. I will comment that hitting solid timber is painful, but I wasn’t hurt, hurt, if you know what I mean. I got to the bottom of the hill and a really nice girl was waiting to help me. I asked her if I should get back on, she said absolutely, so I did.

Jimmy looked over at me and said, You got a little left over the first fence, so you overcompensated and jumped ahead on the second one. Something like that. I was instructed to go and jump the first cross country jump I’d jumped that day until Birdie settled back down. Birdie did what Birdie does. He jumped like I’d never crashed him. Somehow that horse has confidence in me. When we’re approaching a jump, no matter how much I messed up the jump before; he says “I know you’re going to do it right this time!!” I don’t think I deserve it, but I’m thankful he is so forgiving.

I was tired, very tired by now. I think we went to the bank next. Jimmy had me do the small bank and then told me to rest awhile, he wanted me to be able to do the water. Birdie has always been great at the banks, but I was very glad to rest. I said to Cherie, I get the trophy for most humiliating experience and I hoped she’d never win it back from me. I’ve been present for some of her, well, not so wonderful moments. I accept the fact, it doesn’t always go the way you plan when horses are involved.

The rest of the clinic went without a hitch. After one hour and forty-five minutes, I was finally able to ride Birdie on a loose rein. He was probably tired, but I was glad we had achieved that goal. I had lost hope we would.

Now, I should have felt humiliated and sorry for myself – I think, but I didn’t. I really learned a lot. I had a stronger bond with Birdie. I had no idea how much he cared about me before that day. Also, he had finally relaxed, and had I reacted to his anxiety, it could have been a disaster. I do not believe that horses consider the time it takes to do something. I believe they think, “I did it or I didn’t do it. It was pleasant or it was unpleasant.” I don’t think they think “Ha, I made that human wait an hour to get me on that van.” Or “It took an hour and forty five minutes for me to relax that day.” I learned how to better deal with Birdie’s anxiety. I jumped lots of fences I’d never seen before. I also learned, it’s a lot better to get left than it is to jump ahead of a horse. Not only for the rider, but for the horse too. I rode under pressure and I made it through the whole clinic. I never gave up.

Graycie and Elizabeth - May 17, 2008

◊ My Baby Bird and Elizabeth Madelener - March 21, 2008

◊ Cross Country and Graycie -- Not a good idea. - March 6, 2008

◊ Riding Her - February 25, 2008

◊ My beautiful girl gets hurt - January 12, 2008

◊ See why I hate longeing, Human? - December 29,2007

Graycie and longeing - November 25, 2007

 

The Gray Monster - September 26, 2007

When I retired the Gray Monster from racing for the fourth time, I knew it was the last time. She was out of conditions and I knew if I ran her for $10K she’d be claimed. I’d be inconsolable. In fact, Sweeney, the trainer stabled next to me at Bowie asked me not to do that because he’d hate to have to move out of the barn. He just wouldn’t be able to stand being stabled next to me should I lose that girl.

I had failed to retire her the times before because although she loved the farm, after a certain amount of time she expected to work. She loves her job as a racehorse and has a very good work ethic. This time was going to be different. I was going to get her a job. But what kind of job? What would she like to do? Well, I decided she’d like to be an eventer. No matter that I don’t know how to jump and haven’t done dressage for 20 years. I’m 45 now, oh dear. I am undeterred by this though because it’s all about the horse.

 

Kimberly Clark

301-579-6898                                                                           

Trainer@LeightonFarm.com    

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