Jan 6 / kimberlygodwinclark@gmail.com Momentary Despair

Tuesday, January 6, 2009

This blog is supposed to be about riding, but that’s not what I do with most of my time these days. Even though I spend around 6 hours per day riding. I’m sitting here at my desk at 3 a.m. in the morning answering my normal 25 or so emails. So much is happening with the placement/rescue work. I find myself feeling completely impotent. Nothing I do is enough. I just can’t get enough done, fast enough for these horses. I deal with people who love them and want what’s best for their horses and that is real pressure. Then I deal with people who just want to get rid of them, another sinister kind of pressure. This is what despair feels like. No matter how many times you tell yourself you can’t help them all, deep down you really do want to help them all. I’m going to allow myself ten minutes of this and then I’ll get back to work. I promise I’ll get back to writing about riding. I don’t want to bum everybody out. I guess it’s normal, I forget I’m human sometimes.